She watched as he rolled in the mud, looking

  • She watched as he rolled in the mud, looking like a little pig.
  • It was the only way to fend them off but she knew it would take every inch of her courage to overcome the fear of mud that began when she was a child. Every since that day in
  • the health spa, when she spied her mother's head emerging from a vat of mud and was certain she had been beheaded. Overcoming her fear, she began hurling mud pies at her attackers
  • , but alas, it was useless! The offenders had a grossingly large tongue that slurped away the creamy pastry, and considering all the options left, she's now a damsel in distress!
  • There was only one super hero who could save her now. Forget spiderman or batman, this damsel in distress needed orangutanman!
  • With his big cheek pads on the sides of his face and a large pendulous throat sack under his chin, orangutanman could seduce the damsel’s abductor, giving her ample time to escape.
  • Unfortunately, Orangutan Man did not count on the damsel's abductor being heterosexual, and uninterested in his mock advances. He scratched his orange dome as he tried to come up
  • with a new plan. "I'll seduce the damsel, then, and free her in the process." (This was not a very good plan. Also, the damsel was a lesbian.)
  • "Okay, how about this, then? You seduce the damsel, I free her, and we both take credit for it?" My girlfriend couldn't wait to get her hands on that damsel's
  • throat. My girlfriend had hated the damsel ever since she caught her making goo-goo eyes at me. Secretly I freed the damsel myself. We ran off together & lived happily ever after.


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