So this "Saltine eating challenge" was all

So this "Saltine eating challenge" was all new to me. Saltines are smallish & not that intimidating, that is until there are 5 in your mouth & ur not allowed to drink anything. So

they chanted 10.9.8.7 and I panicked shoving the last cracker in my dry mouth. With no time left I coughed up cracker dust all over my friends. I got the reputation that I don't

think would look good on a jersey, but now everyone calls me "The Dust Geyser." Luckily my trusty sugar glider, Chauncy, was around to lick up all the cracker dust I spewed.

Chauncy was really the most grotesque thing on the planet. He ate everything. He was part slug, with an exposed brain, and a cow's tongue. I'd found him in another solar system

chewing his sizable cud. Chauncy's sluggish, misshapen body oozed out slimy trails wherever he went. I was able to capture him because I knew his weakness. Yodeling

cow herders in strapping lederhosen who smelled faintly of Ementaler. Chauncy come oozing up slowly he got jaundiced eyeball. He's a holy cowsnail. He got slime down below his

shell as his single eyeball looked around. "All hail the holy cowsnail." The cow herders in lederhosen said, bowing down to Chauncy as more slime dripped down his shell.

It was followed by revelry all night long, with cowsnail Chauncy, triumphing over the victory against evil, and everyone forgot about the Goblin who escaped the prison that night

give in to it all and just let the world be. What could one little goblin do, anyway? We'll never know what could have been, but it probably would've been great. Oh well.