Woe woe woe. Hang on. What's that? Let me

  • Woe woe woe. Hang on. What's that? Let me get a whiff. Hey hey, what a bouquet! That's some bitchy scent! Poodle? Hint of musky mutt & Schatzi's been here. Hey don't yank my chain
  • yoe yoe yoe. Hang on. Who's that? Let me take sniff. Hey hey, wait, your a dog, I'm a human, this is NOT RIGHT." I threw off the V-R helmet, stood, and glared at the proprietor.
  • He glared back. It was a glaring contest. My eyes began watering. I propped my eyelids up with toothpicks. He was unwavering. I saw his nose twitch, though. Ah-ha...any moment now.
  • I narrowed my eyes. He flared his nostrils. I raised an eyebrow. He stuck his tongue out. I flopped one hand around just out of sight and then slapped him hard with the other hand
  • . He raised a hand to the welt in astonishment. He pointed behind me. I followed his finger. He tapped my shoulder. I put my palm to my nose bridge avoiding his 3 stooges eye poke.
  • "Oh, wise guy, eh?" he barked.I fake-punched him in the stomach. He pulled back, clenched & farted. My eyes watered from the stench. He flung himself at me just as I stuck my thumb
  • in my belly button hole for emotional support. Couldn't he wait until I was feeling secure enough to start fighting? I rolled up into a ball until he finally
  • walked away and left me there to think. I let the thoughts that consumed my mind run rampant, and suddenly they ceased in a deafening silence. Where had my thoughts gone?
  • I put an ad on Gumtree offering a reward for my lost thoughts. The next day I got a call from a very angry man. He said my thoughts had entered his mind in the night while he slept
  • wearing his new #dreamrec headband, and he spent the next five months regaling me with my own lost thoughts intermixed with his own pointed commentary. How could I repay that?


  1. m80 Nov 16 2014 @ 17:06

    This is really funny y'all. LOVED the slapstick.

  2. Sloth Dec 05 2014 @ 19:21

    Ha. Funny.

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