Claude was happy with the upgrades. He had

  • Claude was happy with the upgrades. He had traded his blood for Chloroplasm without even a fever, and Tesla implants kept him going on cloudy days and movie dates. But his social
  • networking stock had plummeted and Claude had sunk the remainder of his post-operative nest egg into that fund. He had to devise a way to turn his plant- and Tesla-based upgrades
  • into inventions way ahead of their time, like the Italian caveman who invented Rotelle before the wheel (or pasta). Claude tried to seep Tesla's mind with his root attachment until
  • the break of dawn. Ot at least that's what Claude's Bestie Boy Timer said he did it until. Tesla's mind did seep out but instead of being sapped into a machine it floated into the
  • local Denny's and sat down for one of their gigantic breakfasts. "Don't mind if I do, Tesla thought, but then Faraday's mind crept in the back and started being loud. Angry diners
  • got even angrier when Tesla entered a heated argument with Faraday's mind, and it all went haywire when Alessandro Volta and Edison butted in the conversation. Sparks flew, and
  • AC/DC took to the stage. Angus Young played a riff signifying the start of the song "Back in Black". After Bon Scott's death the band considered time travel to retrieve a
  • C-note he had borrowed from Angus a couple years back for "supplies". Instead, they exhumed Bon's body and tried to sell it to a local "scientist" living in a decrepit "mansion".
  • When we dropped it off at the mansion he asked me if I wanted to go out for some milkshakes and strawberry shortcakes. I smiled up at him a beaming smile and we were off
  • our rockers. Which was a shame, because we always start off milkshakes with a rocking chair race. It was really a lucky break, because the dirty cops have been cracking down.


  1. BlastedHeath May 02 2014 @ 23:39

    Opener inspired by Greg Egan's "Chaff" in G. Dozois' 11th Year's Best SF collection

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