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There it was. A ruby-encrusted golden medallion.

  • There it was. A ruby-encrusted golden medallion. If only I could get past the case. I ever-so-slightly move the case and
  • it slides like butter off the table onto my toes. My screams echo through the bank vault indefinitely. There is no doubt in my mind somebody heard that. I grab the medallion
  • . It glowed. Damn, It set off the light and heat sensor. But there was no time to worry about that as it melted the walls around me. Why the medallion didn't burn me I had no clue.
  • Maybe it was because the universe couldn't bear the thought of burning beautiful hands like mine. I grinned, pocketing the medallion. The grapple line yanked me upwards and I was
  • pulled up towards the volcano, where lava landed on my beautiful hands, burning them badly. At least I still had the medallion, but now I had to figure out how to get down without
  • Any relief from the agony I was now in. Even though the lava only landed on my hands, the radiated heat lit my shirt on fire. But I still needed to bring the medallion down to
  • the ancient mystic Baba Ganoush. I remembered his teaching and began chanting, "The power of the mind outweighs that of the flesh." I tried not to think of my flaming shirt and cha
  • -fing undershorts as I marched around the courtyard, chanting Baba Ganoush's words. Pilgrims came from miles around to see me act the martyr and buy flaming t-shirts. When the
  • Golden Fluffo shortening finally arrived from Walmart Canada, I could finally make the fkaming pie I promised the sponsors of my you tube channel. They happily swallowed it whole.
  • These days many use the term "drank the Koolaid" haphazardly. Even so, I still found the taste foul. So I decided to use free cake instead. We will praise Me on the other side.
Started
2017-01-04 15:22:52
Finished
2017-08-09 21:22:40

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Aug 09 2017 @ 22:08

    Oh, you didn't know that we were in Futiqueville. That American congressman just tried to fly out of here but I gave him cake before he left. He told me it was his favorite. I also sent cake to somebody in MacArthur Park. I hope the rain doesn't get it.
  2. Avatar

    Woab Aug 10 2017 @ 15:49

    Will you ever have that recipe again?

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