We stepped warily into the first room of

We stepped warily into the first room of the dungeon, weapons and eyes gleaming in the sputtering torchlight, following the marching order we had planned on: in front, the fighter,

had a 10-foot pole and was gingerly tapping the floor, our thief was examining the shadows and our wizard was using a detect magic spell. We took 2 hours to search the first room.

In the next room we found a clue to what we came for: our entire expedition of wizards, thieves and sanitation experts stood in awe in front of a single, tiny, booger, glowing with

arcane symbols and promising spoils and excrement spillage and/or spoilage. The Booger of Destiny we came to call it. Destiny was everybody's favourite stripper down in the coal

mines. She was a beautiful creature with a stunning figure and a positively voluptuous booty. She would make the coal miners swoon as she walked, her bottom covered in coal dust,

it was a real safety hazard, it ignited, destroying the whole mine," the state farm worker said, " "Fire ass' seen it covered it."

"Thank you for covering my ass," I said to the insurance salesman. With that, I felt free to shimmy out into the bright light of day again, knowing that any damage cause by my hot

tub antics at my father's funeral were covered. Odd of him to make me sign in my blood. He said it helped in identification. "DNA & stuff", Mustafa Lees had said, brimstone in his

britches brought him to study witchcraft, where he met his heir, my evil stepmother, Adalwolfa Ubel, a woman whose bosom contained the blood of pigs, upon which my father feasted.

Father always ate revolting crap, with bosom-sourced pig blood his latest passion. Before that it was bologna smeared with whipped cream. I really wish he’d go back to eating that!