Once upon a time, a beautiful girl decided

  • Once upon a time, a beautiful girl decided to live in a castle.

  • She chose the furnishings from her uncle's house in Japan, and had a large greenhouse. Being vegetarian, she had a small indoor farm. Her servants got to share the food. Two cows

  • a mooing, three sheep a snoozing, four horses hoofing, five hens a laying, six

  • randy bandicoots, seven dancing dingos, eight ejaculating echidnas, nine nesting numbats, ten

  • totalitarian technocrats, eleven edible echidnas, twelve truckers trucking! Wait... was that how it's supposed to go?

  • Stop that. Reverse it. Twelve typos tended, eleven emus emailed, ten typists twerking, nine nuns nagged, eight ears elbowed, seven speeches slurred, six sloths surrendering, five

  • GOL-DEN SHOWERS!!!, four calling cards, three freedom fries, two English muffins, and a broken down VW microbus in my parking lot. The carolers all looked expectantly at the closed

  • door. It creaked open & a wizened, beak nose face appeared. "A pox on ye! Scurvy and rickets to boot! And may the bottle take your father!" The door slowly closed on the carolers.

  • But their cheerful little Christmas Spirits were not easily hampered. Their merry hearts burst forth with "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" when the pirate poked his bearded chin out again

  • it was white and bushy like Santa on Christmas Eve. Shaving it off December 26 gave his skin time to put the rosy back in his cheeks. Now if only



  1. SlimWhitman Nov 10 2016 @ 18:35

    his wife hadn't left him. "Martha always said. It's me or the beard. If she came back now, now that'd be the greatest treasure fer me. Arrrrrrr". Then Martha hiding among the carolers took off her Wig and Glasses and kissed him on the cheek. "Aye, and now I've got your rosy jowls to peck at, you'll not be rid of me so soon."

  2. sundancer Nov 10 2016 @ 22:13

    Awwww so cute!

  3. xxkahloxx Nov 15 2016 @ 16:31

    An unfinished story saved by Slim once again! Now, how can I join this chorus?

  4. DarkMaster Nov 15 2016 @ 17:30

    The middle of the story is easily the best lol.

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