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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that

  • It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
  • It is a corollary modestly proposed, that a married man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mistress. It is a corollary to that corollary above, that she is young
  • ish, no more than 50 (because 50 is the new 30, right?) and, um, experienced & that she makes the said man above feel like he is the center of the universe. An additional corollary
  • to the ancillary parenthetical to this melodramatic situation is that she is this man's older sister. She cooks for him. She buys him flushable wipes. She folds his socks.
  • She pesters him with annoying questions. She sneaks into his room at night and yells "Creampuff!" She shows up on his dates. She gets him fired. As his older sister she thinks
  • it's all fun and games. She only wishes him well. Until one day, in the middle of a shower, he decides he's had enough of her sibling crap. Apeshit crazy, and wearing nothing but
  • a purple and green striped shower cap he stepped out onto the street in search of a new sibling. A cool breeze sent shivers across his naked body and so he grabbed a giant
  • umbrella, and faced it into the wind like a shield. He would need to hurry and find a nice outfit, or the next brother or sister he chose wouldn't be pleased. You can't just run
  • away from orphaned children. The next child he chose had to be a good addition to his collection. Smart, funny and willing to
  • cook. Yes the culinary competence amongst his orphans had waned of late. This he saw fit to rectify by choosing Jake, a young prosperous hopeful.
Started
2013-05-02 14:45:50
Finished
2015-07-14 08:37:58

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jul 14 2015 @ 14:11

    Well the cool thing is this story kind of keeps its P&P voice throughout - yelling creampuffs on dates and interrupting showers is the least of a litany of annoyances devised by older sisters to prevent their younger brothers from finding a suitable bride.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Jul 15 2015 @ 15:12

    I didn't write my line myself. Someone called J Austen did. I got it from one of those internet lists of sure fire opening lines to make your story start with a bang.
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jul 15 2015 @ 19:43

    P&P = Pride and Prejudice. I and others here at Foldingstory have used the same approach with success ;-)

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