Our eyes met for a moment. I looked away.

Our eyes met for a moment. I looked away. We were meant for each other but she made me so nervous that I sometimes felt sick. "Your shoe's untied," she looked at my name tag, "Bob"

The way she said my name, "Bob", It made my knees wobble. They then gave way and I fell over. I had literally fallen in love with her. I could barely speak, "Ah, err. Hi." I felt

her hand on my thigh. "Are you okay Boaab?" I fainted into an ecstatic swoon. I dreamed of a flock of iridescent parrots circling above "Booab Booab Boaab" they called. When I woke

, I realized that parrots aren't intelligent animals - how could they know my name? I grabbed a nearby parrot and bit its head off, Ozzy-style. Rocky road, man. I needed to

get some beer to wash down the parrot that felt slightly lodged in my throat. I found the local saloon and ventured inside. To my surprise,

a pirate, a giraffe and a shark were seated at the bar. I started to back out of the saloon. The pirate shouted "YOU! Is that a parrot feather sticking out of your mouth?!" Panic

the manic-depressive giraffe cut in, "Maybe it's a stretch but I think we could very happy together. Don't leave!" I didn't know quite what to say. I asked the buccaneer at the bar

if he thought it was a good idea to be with someone so fragile and dependent, but he didn't pay me any mind at all. I sighed and met the giraffe's gaze before asking

if direct eye contact was really necessary to continue our budding relationship. The giraffe seemed OK with that. Sure, our friendship was unusual, but he made me feel special.

Jiffles and I traveled the land and eventually became street performers. We toured far and wide, achieving great success. When we discovered cocaine...well, that's another story.