Quiet! Quiet I whispered a loud a as could

Quiet! Quiet I whispered a loud a as could to myself. My tendinitis was screaming at me and would not obey. The click clack clunk as I cocked the pistol was all but inaudible to me

Södertälje. I applied as refugee to a bunch of other places but I got provisional refugee status in Södertälje. At the interview they insisted I eat a plate of surstromming

drenched in mustard. I refused, and was then offered an alternative – köttbullar with lingonsylt. Never being one to pass up on a plate of köttbully goodness, I

realized that this was as obvious of a trap as that time with the Sirens in New Zeland. Performing a stylish backflip, I dodged the flying meal - and the TNT inside. "Food Fight!"

"Let's see if you have time for more wry quips after this!" the chef yelled, quickly whipping up another serving of roast beef packed with nitroglycerin and hurling it at my head.

"Today is a good day to fry!" I shouted, exploding beef grazing my hair. "That wasn't wry," said the chef, "that was just a bad pun!" He caught my deepfryer upside the face.

And that's how waffle fries were invented.

Hince Belgians and the French negotiated a cease-fire through culinary expertise. Other meldings like American Cheese and Greek Olives didn't fare as well. The IHOP was a neutral

place where the treaty could be signed, and the peace lasted for years until the Olive Garden attacks of 97. The resulting wars ravaged the intercontinental food industries.