I'm trying this out to see how it works.

I'm trying this out to see how it works.

If only I knew how to turn it on.... Hmmm, what does this button do? And suddenly the machine flashed with colors and happy music, -It's a

cork soaking machine! I immediately stuck mu cork deep into the slot and was immensely pleased with the soaking action. As I stood there getting my cork soaked I realized

how cold it was and could see people fishing on the ice. There were lot's of ice holes out there. I hate ice holes. An ice hole broke my leg once--once. After that I

Made. It. Pay. Which was hard, it turned out Ice Holes have pretty good insurance, with really good lawyers. Anyway, it took a lot to convince me to go back on the ice after that

incident where my ice skate fell off during the 2010 Winter Olympics. That was embarrassing, however I still managed to get 8 points since that one judge only

was there for the food and didn't actually care about ice skating. He was even quoted as calling it "too prancy" for his tastes. I never did find my skate. Someone must have

pranced away with it. I ran down the street, looking for someone suspicious, leotarded, and be-glittered. "Did you see who stole my skate?" I asked a bum. He pointed at the public

transgender transmogrification station. "It was him uh.. her." I accosted the pussycat suited vixen exiting the station."Yo, where's my skate?". She handed me a maltese skate.

Then the catsuited vixen smacked me across the face. The claws hurt. And so I had to cry all the way home riding on one crappy Italian rollerskate through suburbia.