1 Folds
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First Santa came in. The dalek entered through the window. The fight over presents and world destruction began. Santa flung candy canes as the dalek tried to exterminate him. Th -
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Somwhere lost in time, a drunken sheep stumbled through a thicket bleating softly as it mourned the loss of its virginity... and the narcoleptic diplodicous slept on.
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lls were left behind. Sadly the crow barked and the llama sang a hymn. The stage cleared for it was Tuesday and Goldilocks porridge had grown cold.
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point the book fairies. But this was not what this tale was about. In fact it had veered so far from its intended purpose of saving humanity that it could only end one way..
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To Bill Oreilly's inner sanctum. He clenched his buttcheeks addressing his master. "Dark one" he cried. The president dines on subhuman sushi". Oreilly cackled. "The prophecy!"
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would have crapped fire. The Destroyer turned languidly in an agile pirouette. I seethed stepping into samba stance. Just then the shadow of the Battlestar engulfed us. I wept.
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atory with its eternally overflowing toilets and wel dressed attendant spraying sickly sweet cologne until our nostrils bled. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed as I realized my diareah had re
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My hand went to my pocket and there it was ..the remnance of a whopper jr. Shazam I yelled as I popped the morsel into my mouth. Strength filled me as my muscles expanded 10x.
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Time slowed as Felipe measured his life span in twinkie bites. Cream and spittle foamed from Mr. Morgan's toothless grin. "I'm a ready to kick yer ass guud."
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pretending to be ice gnomes in search of a lifemate for the queer zamboni; perhaps an effeminate toaster. But the xeroxed zebra saw through our ruse and they were hungry for toner
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attacked. Rivers of blood and baked goods flowed heavier than Rosie odonnell's menstrual cycle. Satisfied the blood the was fulfilled the elves committed ritual suicide.
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move to Kentucky where incest was legal. But the laws of Time & Lawn Gnomes demanded he must also forevermore talk like a pirate. "Avast & argghh" he yelled & his new life began.
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Suddenly I realized the creature was a Sea Elephant and not a walrus. With horror, I realized my fiancee had need not died. My tears fell freely washing her blood from my face.
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under the bulbous cover of a gargantuan jellyfish discarded during the Slavian Migration. The Kamikazes dove recklessly as they are prone to do. Sgt Old Spice was no so lucky...
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an old pocket rocket I kept around for especially bad days. I stuffed it in my underwear trying to imagine Wynona without the rotting flesh. I turned it on but nothing happened.
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"Thus endith the curse!" With fury in his heart & pink panties in his hand, he screamed to the heavens. "Come ye, alien filth! Thy fishmonger is ended! You're panties are mine!
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worse then the Talent Sucking Boybands" invasion two decades earlier. The lipsyncing weakness allowing their defeat had been a lucky break. But this time, it seemed
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placed in humiliating submissive positions with various stuffed animals and discarded Happy Meal toys. Through all the brutality and suffering, his finest moment awaited.
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in the name of Vishnu's testicles is that? " A giant ethereal bunny wielding a halberd cleaved the tower in two. The prophecy was true. The 100 year rain of candy corn had begun.
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it was then the the veil of ignorance shrouding my memories tore away and the words of my father came back bringing clarity. "Smell the glove, sonny boy." I nodded with purpose.