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Gaston sucked his biro. He really wanted

  • Gaston sucked his biro. He really wanted to sign the 'Don't Touch My Whore' petition, but what if his wife found out?

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  • "Take me wife...please!" He giggled as he signed it with his sticky biro. Then he headed off to his favorite brothel, Bangers and Mash, to pay a visit to Lucinda, who always

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  • has the latest information on the alien invasion. He blew by the Madam, sound Lucinda under some Fishmonger. He tossed the pantless merchant over the balcony and said, "

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  • "Thus endith the curse!" With fury in his heart & pink panties in his hand, he screamed to the heavens. "Come ye, alien filth! Thy fishmonger is ended! You're panties are mine!

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  • Mine! Do you hear! Mine mine mine!" The Heavens remained silent as they considered their next move. They decided to send in the Dungmonger who had not been seen since the Age of

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  • Dung to confiscate Christ's holy droppings. Christ was best hamster. He even made his own wood chippings. Hell, he carved a sturdier wheel than some metal. Just give him some wood

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  • and he'd never be cross. Christ the hamster could also walk on his water bowl, and feed all the rest of the hamsters with just one food pellet. But Herod the Hamster was threatened

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  • with jail time if he even so much as thought about betraying Hamster Jesus. Herod decided instead to stuff his cheeks with the precious food pellets and run in his wheel until dusk

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  • rolled across the land. The next day came—quickly and without mercy. Hampster Herod crawled over to his water bottle and licked sporadically. The time had come: Hampster Jesus must

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  • be eliminated before Hampster God would gain too much power. Chocolate should do the trick.

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