19 Folds
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fellatio, I thought. That would hit the spot. Okay, & milk. (GOT to get my head out of the gutter. Do you know where milk comes from?) Then again, being double double stuffed might -
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a positron was racing toward me. We'd both be annihilated, for Bohr's sake! And positive thinking was against my nature. Summoning my last shred of negativity, I charged.
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Instead, I had my child's hippocampus replaced with a 2T hard-drive, anti-virus & spam filter. NO signs of autism! Sadly though, without a campus, the hippos now live in my foyer.
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Bertha dutifully applied the prescribed ointment to her inflamed booboo. The fungus thrived, emitting a most provocative aroma. Men swarmed. And that's how the camel got its hump.
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after all. And yet, overconfidence is a tricky thing for one who wields the golden lasso of truth. The end came at Tiffany's--a tearful confession in a pool of vomited vodka.
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to slip away. Back in his lair, he gloated over the clever ruse, when suddenly there came a clamor of horns & slide whistles outside. Oh Jesus. The zombies had all become clowns!
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Bette Midler & Barry Manilow were one & the same hideous creature, 50s she-male Boris Midman. The 2 BM's were the result of early Soviet experiments in splitting the hermaphrodite.
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spraying a Christ-like image on a piece of fabric that would later be called the Shroud of Turin, baffling scientists & theologians for centuries. This cat's 10th life would prove
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on the buffet table nude. One of them removed her crude pasties, made of paper coffee filters cut like snowflakes. She folded them & tucked them into his shirt pocket. He burped.
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Dutifully, beautifully, she obeyed. The "sammich" would be a work of art -- egg salad on rye with earth worms, crushed glass, & menstrual blood.
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conflagration. Reminded him of home. Even the screaming recalled those throngs of damned souls under foot, writhing in eternal torment. As his black suit burned, the demon sang.
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had felt like a half-hour nap to the bewildered patient, who yawned &, scratching at last that wicked itch, laughed along, assuming the joke was how quickly they'd aged.
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it had his name on it. BAM! Hardly slowed by the windshield, it slammed into his head, smack between widening eyes. Globe & skull shattered in synchrony. Bells rang. Snow fell.
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& the wet scent of humus triggered something deeply rooted in my own soul's soil. Innocence maybe. Or loss. Her hands were an antique chalice cupping the sacrifice of years, of
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But get there early, that's the key. And make sure you ask a sales associate whether the brand in stock was produced with growth hormone or cruelty. The cruelty ones are best, but
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Alternatives were suggested, of course. Carrier bees, carrier bats, even carrier dust-mites with nano-fiche affixed to their nano-butts. Maybe narrow-casting wasn't the answer. We
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KIDS! SHIFT, DAMN YOU--Oh #%@$! Backspace, for Qwerty's sake BACKSPACE! --This has been a test of the emergency bullshit system. Had this been actual bullshit, it would continue.
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of things, of people. At first we assumed the cracked windows, spilled vases, crooked pictures, all the tweaked & broken items in our homes were random. We know now it was him. He
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But the car was quite empty, a detail which escaped the notice of those stalwart sleuths in hot pursuit. They we so focused on their quarry, that when it zoomed over the cliff
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made her anus wink to think about it -- the letter, pristinely sealed, weighed on the stainless steel scale, stamped, certified label affixed, the "signature required" box checked.