30 Folds
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thundered Beethoven's 5th as Ms. Light brazenly planted her lips on mine, all the while filming away with her free hand! I protested, but was shushed by irate audience members -
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buck naked on stage facing an empty auditorium, after the costume crew stripped me of my duds. That's how the cleaning lady found me. "Senor, me sign up to clean junk, not see it!"
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An explosion later and I stood blackened and charred in the gaping hole leading to the board room: "Renson! It's about time you showed up with the grub!" thundered my boss. I doled
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twerk, but we mustered what booty power we had left and grinded against each other to the tunes blasting from our boombox. We decided to go out in style, and nothing would interru-
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foul the nest that shat you forth!" "But, Dad, you're the turd who spawned me, I won't let you be mistreated by the sow in whose litter I loll!" "I forgave your mom," said Tony sad
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floss. He then sprang out, grabbed him by the nape of his neck while shoving a Dustbuster up against his lips. The gums were slurped up & deposited in his gum bank. A gumper crop!
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…" Stealthily, they stripped the corpse & Jen wore her dead mom's rags, took her ID & chips & headed for the cashier. "I'd like to cash out," she chirped, trying to hide her braces
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His listeners knew how trustworthy he was, so a line formed of innumerable people who wanted to experience the Afterlife. Nixon was appalled to find himself
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pointed straight down at me. A stream of web shot from my wrist, yanking the pistol out of his hand, along with his hand. Oops. "OWW!" He screamed from the window. His stump gushed
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the ketchup. Jo-Jo complied and winked. "We need to finish Risa to the marrow, so they'll never find her." We ended up grinding her remains and opening a fast food joint, "Risa Bur
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Once I passed the row of portraits, I could hear whispering, and realized they were gossiping about me. The nerve! I grabbed a mace from the wall and began smashing the paintings
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dad wears a bra!" I must've hit a nerve, cuz he burst out crying. I quickly reassured him:"Cross dressing is commonplace nowadays," guiltily sensing the fabric of my wife's panties
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"Yabba dabba doo," faintly, over and over. Admin stood ready to meet our mindless bodies & plug us into charging stations. Later, we'll masquerade as Trump's men & storm Washington
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Since occupancy in his hotel skyrocketed, the owner offered Landi and Ian free lodging in the glass elevator, throwing in a bellboy so they'd have a threesome. "I'm not comfortable
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bathroom door and hugrily poured over the porn he'd just confiscated. To his dismay, the head of the man in the next stall appeared from under the partition: "Pardon, ran out of TP
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marry me." Awesome, she'd save loads on her hair which she cut in a bob. "Oh, Yes! But, Aubrey, what of your booze issues." "I'm 100% sober. Now, let's find a plumber to marry us o
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k eye: "Once you've vacated your bowels, there is no way back." I stared balefully at the steaming pile of poo amassed before his throne and wondered what use his kingdom had for
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the meltdown that rocked your world an hour ahead of your flight. At security, your giant pants which rose to your chin did not escape notice: "I'm gonna need you to take those off
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, as she was now called, had changed her name from Katie! How dare she do that without consulting her fans?! An angry mob converged on her house & she was dragged to the stake.
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the world: "My fellow Americans," I said into the mic, my voice resonating with pathos "the long wait is over. My constipation has officially ended!" The news hit the nation like a