31 Folds
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6inexplicably cheated, and fished around his pocket for his wallet. He then requested his mortified date to empty her own pockets: "...just to verify you didn't steal anything!" She
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1They found the despairing girl trussed up in the terrorist's cellar. "Everything will be ok," Moe reassured her, "you're in good hands." As if on cue, Curly set off a hidden alarm.
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1thundered Beethoven's 5th as Ms. Light brazenly planted her lips on mine, all the while filming away with her free hand! I protested, but was shushed by irate audience members
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1how he was new to the whole Inception thing, had yet to learn the ropes. But the intruder found navigating James' dream trickier than he had thought, and accidentally slipped on a
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2Goring, stirred by his master's ebullience, donned a dress and began twirling around the bunker singing:"The hills all have eyes with the sound of carnage!" The pair then tangoed
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1buck naked on stage facing an empty auditorium, after the costume crew stripped me of my duds. That's how the cleaning lady found me. "Senor, me sign up to clean junk, not see it!"
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1An explosion later and I stood blackened and charred in the gaping hole leading to the board room: "Renson! It's about time you showed up with the grub!" thundered my boss. I doled
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1to never again allow his job as air traffic controller to interfere with his meditation. Ed snapped out of his next session ignorant of the multiple crashes, subsequent trial and
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3twerk, but we mustered what booty power we had left and grinded against each other to the tunes blasting from our boombox. We decided to go out in style, and nothing would interru-
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2foul the nest that shat you forth!" "But, Dad, you're the turd who spawned me, I won't let you be mistreated by the sow in whose litter I loll!" "I forgave your mom," said Tony sad
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2floss. He then sprang out, grabbed him by the nape of his neck while shoving a Dustbuster up against his lips. The gums were slurped up & deposited in his gum bank. A gumper crop!
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2…" Stealthily, they stripped the corpse & Jen wore her dead mom's rags, took her ID & chips & headed for the cashier. "I'd like to cash out," she chirped, trying to hide her braces
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3His listeners knew how trustworthy he was, so a line formed of innumerable people who wanted to experience the Afterlife. Nixon was appalled to find himself
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5pointed straight down at me. A stream of web shot from my wrist, yanking the pistol out of his hand, along with his hand. Oops. "OWW!" He screamed from the window. His stump gushed
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1the ketchup. Jo-Jo complied and winked. "We need to finish Risa to the marrow, so they'll never find her." We ended up grinding her remains and opening a fast food joint, "Risa Bur
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5Once I passed the row of portraits, I could hear whispering, and realized they were gossiping about me. The nerve! I grabbed a mace from the wall and began smashing the paintings
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3dad wears a bra!" I must've hit a nerve, cuz he burst out crying. I quickly reassured him:"Cross dressing is commonplace nowadays," guiltily sensing the fabric of my wife's panties
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3"Yabba dabba doo," faintly, over and over. Admin stood ready to meet our mindless bodies & plug us into charging stations. Later, we'll masquerade as Trump's men & storm Washington
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1Since occupancy in his hotel skyrocketed, the owner offered Landi and Ian free lodging in the glass elevator, throwing in a bellboy so they'd have a threesome. "I'm not comfortable
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2bathroom door and hugrily poured over the porn he'd just confiscated. To his dismay, the head of the man in the next stall appeared from under the partition: "Pardon, ran out of TP