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pie if that idiot Steve would just back off and let someone else take a bite. However, it was neither his concern nor his responsibility, so he let it slide. -
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of the slaughterhouse would take too much time. He checked his watch. He knew what had to be done. He had to sabotage the slaughterhouse by jamming his own hand into the meat grind
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. You see, the Yeti was very particular about who drank his favorite cup of joe, so when BOGO was offered at affordable prices to the locals, he had no option other than to burn
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big, spectacular superhero fights had to be scheduled months in advance, to give City Hall time to prepare and take the necessary precautions. Being major of Metropolis meant
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ightful about his own rise and fall from fame. It was at this moment that George realized happiness was not to be found in a Grammy: Happiness was within him all along.
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brand-name tennis shoes were a sad remnant of a past age. Goddamned pretentious hipsters and their vintage gangsta rap. Chinese Trance-core, now THAT was dope music for dope folks.
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eye contact because, let's face it, things had been akward lately and it was all because Fifty Shades of Grey had given Mrs. Hawke some ideas, much to the chagrin of Mr. Hawke.
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s not something he would like to do, he thought as he typed the trite, cliche ending to yet another one of "Stephen's" bestsellers. Ghost writing's easy, if you hate art.
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seven favorite words of his childhood hero: George Carlin. Security moved to escort him out of the building, and the director scrambled to send the show to commercial break. Jeopar
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was still there, somehow. Time travel usually gobbled up a day or two, but the entire last week seemed intact. This meant, of course, that some other random day had disappeared.
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next to the cardboard cutout and started air-humping it with wild abandon, much to the delight of his fellow vandals. Yes, this was going to be a bad night for Corporate Capitalism
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fell face-first into what he first thought was mud. He spat, gagged and clumsily wiped it from his eyes. Except it wasn't mud. It was a sick blood-and-feces soup that covered the
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It was the worst goddamned meatloaf this side of Kansas. "You are worthless," the Commander dispassionately told his wife, as he snapped his fingers for them to bring a new one.
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he needed to know before he began messily kissing and licking and slobbering all over that fat cow of a woman. He didn't even know her and yet from that point onwards, they became
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both somehow fallen in love with the same old widow. It was to be expected, of course, since we both were, at the time, precocious well-read kids. The sort of boy grown women will
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The muppet head made a remarkably peculiar sound as it bounced off the steps. Seriously, I want to take a moment to point out just how peculiar a sound it really was. Boy, was it a
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the middle. She thought this was cute. She was under the impression this would somehow get him to notice her. She was, of course, wrong. The man was, as we all know, very very gay.
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Fortunately, the 105 was shut down and the 330 was, naturally, absolutelly jammed with traffic as a result. He knew Lord Vader wouldn't go anywhere, not with THIS traffic.
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vok, as was perfectly normal and expected of us. This was, after all, Guy Fawkes Night, the one time of the year when sweet liberating anarchy finally comes to the UK. "Me mum got
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the most massive garbage truck he had ever seen turned the corner. No one seemed to be driving it, but a long, whip-like antenna waved wildly out of the driver's window. "Well," he