2 Folds
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uded by British politicians and royals when Italian diplomats come to visit. The long history of Brits using weird bird outfits to scare Romans has made Italians nervous of feather -
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I offer my wisdom, as the cat in the hat, to you lower beings with only two legs and hardly any fur. My superior intellect is at your disposal. Unless you're Justin Bieber.
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that I started charging admission. After all, who wouldn't pay to see a glowing pillow case? I would be rich! And then I could finally buy my plane ticket to Hollywood, where
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tood to applaud their great leader. "Victory is ours", the merfolk interpreter shouted, eager to include the 4-eyed toads that had helped them in battle but couldn't speak merish.
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Once Wile E. had the Roadrunner in his Acme Extend-o-Arms, he gave it a big, bear hug and said: "Oh, how I love to snuggle with my cute little birdy!". The Roadrunner was shocked
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refused to join any more anti-tortilla marches, even if my nephew needed the footage for his stupid documentary. Instead, I went home, crawled into bed and watched Titanic while
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walking his dog, Snuffles. She hid from Mayor McCheese (and Snuffles), embarrassed by the bad hair day she was having. Maybe if she dunked her head in the fountain, she could comb
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Billybob had captured 6 bank robbers, single-handedly. The other cops looked to Billybob for inspiration, wondering how such a meek man with a penchant for Danielle Steele novels
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The Scribbler was Batman's new arch-nemesis. He would ruin perfectly good sentences by ripping out the vowels in everyone's typewriters! Batman decided enough was enough!
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te. Revenge would be mine if I could just find a way to convince his date to stand him up! I devised a plan which involved a Sasquatch wearing an orange tutu and a yellow
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the words he longed to scream (Your hair stinks Mr. Trump!), he instead helped himself to another strawberry lollipop for later, grabbed the rope and swung himself onto Trump Tower
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try singing "He's Got The Whole World in His Hands". It has so many verses and I will have to stay alive to sing each one, which means more money in my pocket, to buy those green
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the law has changed, I won't be able to patent anything while the head of the patent office is infected with a brain-destroying virus. I decide to offer my glove patent to Mars
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Determined to uncover the truth, he set out to discover if Paranoid Anonymous was right that their leader had been killed with poisoned camembert. He packed his favourite red
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was burned to the ground by grumpy snowmen with a fetish for matches. He had promised to discover how HR Pufnstuf, the explorer, had died but quite frankly, he didn't give a toss.
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d to declare my love for Mel to my parents. I knew they would love that one-eyed creature as much I do, especially because my father had one eye himself. He lost it in poker game
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e one that burned down the school library! That was you! Where am I going to loan my Harry Potter books from?" she screamed at me, holding the pencil close to my neck, snarling.
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just as he crossed the road, a black truck pulled up alongside him. The doors opened and two burly arms reached out, grabbed his neck, and wrapped it in a pink, feathered boa.
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tell the tale of how Jerry Springer fell in love with a 9-foot bearded lady. Of course, a year later, a meteor wiped out civilisation and no one lived to tell (or hear) the tale!
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and a large Coke" he would yell, when what he really wanted was the warm blood of a dying rabbit! He repressed his unnatural urges, as he needed to pass for human!