Yesterday, the Weights and Measures Board

Yesterday, the Weights and Measures Board has discovered that a soul's mass dropped significantly since a decade ago. Are we less burdened? Where did it go?

I suspected there was less substance to our souls, because each cycle of rebirth it wore off like an old shoe until were born completely soulless. My boss was surely such an indivi

-dualist that he needed no soul to have his own opinions. He'd sold his soul to the devil in exchange for one long, glorious week of crime and debauchery that had resulted in

syphalitic polo with a left handed fish wife in a puddle drying in the light of another dying star. The vacuum left behind cleared the air of all bubbling regrets. Anyhow

my bout of hyper-pretension was wearing off so I will leave you. I will retire into my boudoir and marinate in the filth and scandal of my sheets. If you need me, just wait.

I drew my faded silk wrap around me, tottered to the bedroom and collapsed in tears onto the grey sheets. I found a half-eaten croissant under the pillow and ate it while looking

through my vast collection of items that glowed in the dark. It took me 7 years to build up such a large collection. Some of the items were radioactive. My pillow case kept me awak

e most of the night. My eyes! I can't take my eyes off of it. the glow in the dark pillow case was my prized possession. How will I ever sleep again? I called in J and K to bring

in some folding chairs so that friends and neighbors who were interested could watch too...ya know, make a party out of it. My glowing pillow case drew such a crowd in my bedroom,

that I started charging admission. After all, who wouldn't pay to see a glowing pillow case? I would be rich! And then I could finally buy my plane ticket to Hollywood, where