7 Folds
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"free love", the hippies were multiplying like cockroaches. Soon there'd be enough of them to match the size of the Red Army, armed not with Kalashnikovs, but with peace and love. -
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the likes of him. The apples were, after all, second class citizens in this grape-dominated society, but Little Red Delicious knew that one day a savior would come to the land of
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was what I dreaded most of all: a gizzard gnome. As I went to the barrel to retrieve the last of the gizzards I grabbed the small club I usually used to bonk the creatures on the
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to curl back into his sleeping bag and die. He'd been a hiker his whole life, so he hoped the mountains didn't hear as he silently mouthed curses at them,damning and condemning the
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I know that people don't just rise from their graves if you hope hard enough. Indeed, it seemed that everyone each had something to say, but so little of it meant anything. Nobody
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the fiery star cresting over the McDonalds and casting an "M" shadow over the parking lot. Cheeseburgers were my newly-declared nation's prime export, and as the king of Foldovia I
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by the scene in front of him. He was pretty sure his folks were speaking some form of English, but he'd never heard these words before. He knew taking LSD before the family reunion
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I could feel the wet jeans slowly but surely rendering me sterile. I considered escaping the hedge maze by making a mad dash, but within each hedge sat an electrified fence. Shit.
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and completely awful. In fact, I think you may have shortened our life expectancies". Elmo's grin did a quick 180 degree spin at Oscar's well-thought-out insult. "B-But, I was only
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fully aware of our surroundings. The truth of the matter was that I had kidnapped a schoolbus full of children with the intent of isolating them from society and raising a band of
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and Coach McGuirk, slumped drunkenly in the stands, leaving the kids to their own devices. Needless to say, his little league soccer team had never won a single game, but that
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he showed her his collection of rare, discontinued jellybeans and she knew he was a creep. "Oh how I wish I was special, but alas, I am a creep, never to be loved", said the creep.
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to gently fondle her pair of expensive loafers right in front of her. It was more than the poor waif would handle and after two hours of nonstop shoe fondling, her heart gave out.
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Indeed, he often struck out with the ladies simply because of his felt-like complexion. It wasn't easy being a single muppet, and with a wingman like Ernie, well, he didn't expect
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, and a best friend". I sighed. I always knew I would outlive Jake, he was a dog afterall, even if he was a magic dog with stretching powers. He was as much a brother to me as I to
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an aquarium of sorts. Her mantra was "When life gives you lemons, crawl in your shell", which was fitting, for Molly was the only girl I'd ever known with a shell, hell, the only
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The man staring into the camera could only offer giggles to the news crew. "Well, huhuh, you see, when you smoke as much, uh, pot as I do, these things come to you naturally, man".
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Phil rubbed his greasy mitts together as the doctor loaded the Cs-core into the death ray. His whole life had been leading up to this; he would finally get the respect he deserved.
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I awoke covered in sweat; my vision still tinted red with the fog of war. Years later, I could still see the faces of the soldiers I had killed all those years ago in Korea.
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person walking down the street with food in their mitts. I was hungry,and nothing tasted better than grub mugged from innocent pedestrians. In a way, this was my personal drive-thu