0 Folds
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2
had to look at cells the ol' fashioned way. That, anyway, is the explanation those nuns gave me for the blood they'd gotten in their eyes. I may never know for sure. -
0
he might wax Catholic and grab a Fish Fry. For a midnight snack, he might be drinking the blood of goats. In rarer moments, his religious inclinations might lean toward
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5
During the first 2 seconds of the last 7 seconds of my life, I quickly cursed myself for wasting the first second blinking.
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0
year's gone by. The Rush Limbaugh of 1991. Marvin could hear his voice pumping through his living room's sound system. Somehow this voice was too much. He simply could not leave.
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2
Ejaculating into the ocean, though, was not what the captain had in mind.
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1
Or that's what we're led to believe Mormons do.
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2
The universe had just come into existence. And I missed it. All because I was watching a video of a rapping cat on my damned IPhone.
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1
latulently into the forest. The Elf King's eyes narrowed on the elves, and bellowed, "WHO CUT THE CHEESE?" As I ran, I popped one nut in my mouth and another in that of Buttercup.
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1
Phil watched the customer waddle away. As he did, he could not help the erection growing in his pants as that customer took the form of a penguin in his mind's eye.
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4
"Well, we might as well get Orange Juliuses while we're here, then."
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5
soul to do so. I didn't mind though. I knew it would be worth it. Cardboard. Fondue. Oh, yes. My eyes were dilating.
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2
Plato, Aristotle, and even some of the Sophists. At first, it was not clear to me how these would enable me to feel such raw sexuality. But, he said something one day that clicked
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7
But, I knew that Phil Flynn's weakness. She may have been dating Phil Flynn, but Phil Flynn claimed to be an abstinent Christian because he simply had no penis. Only balls.
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1
His friends started to feel like it was almost a competition for him--as though he were trying to out-gay them all.
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4
"Herpe-derpes?" I asked, my eyes widening.
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0
I'd put up a billboard on either side of their home sayin' "One Horse Corral." Hell I'd bought up all the land surrounding it. I could do what I wanted. But there was one problem.
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0
The creatures shuffled into the trailer and with a gesture punctuated by the exigency of the moment and my own greed, i slammed the trailer shut. If only they hadn't panicked.