Finished Folds (41—57)

• 5
  mashed potatoes. Most people thought was just a figure of speech, but he realized that it wasn't, and that enough terrible movies could actually solve world hunger. He set to work

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  2011-01-27 16:14:45

• 4
  it only allowed him to eat alphabet soup in any language. But that turned out to come in handy for Ford when

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  2011-01-27 15:35:13

• 2
  trousers. Corduroy can only stretch so far, and, sure enough, SNAP! They went flying into the county three counties over. That meant everyone could see his

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  2011-01-27 15:28:00

• 3
  -with-a-capital-B wife always whining about my choice of religion. "No drinking blood! No sacrificing virgins!" she'd complain. Whatever! This is America, and that means

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  2011-01-27 15:20:57

• 0
  The

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  2011-01-27 15:11:50

• 0
  received an animal for a holiday. The fleshbags once gave me several chicken embryos in various unnatural colors in remembrance of an ancient carpenter. Man, this planet is

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  2011-01-27 14:38:38

• 3
  I was a dumb kid to begin with, and the alcohol only made me even dumber. It also gave me the courage to take him up on his offer of candy. And that's why kids should never drink.

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  2011-01-27 14:31:39

• 2
  duct tape. He was rather anal about it being spelled that way and not "duck tape", so an actual duck making that mistake was naturally terrifying. Nevertheless, the detective

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  2011-01-27 14:26:13

• 3
  pile of ashes. I should have expected it, since the theater had been on fire the whole time. But I didn't. Oh well. At least

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  2011-01-27 06:47:01

• 2
  short on cash with the plumber glaring his "I'm not touching your septic system, because you're POOR" glare. My new septic system wasn't the best in the world, but at least it

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  2011-01-27 06:39:39

• 3
  feeding their cats to the fuzzballs. I mean, sure, the fuzzballs were annoying, but not even remotely annoying as a cat. And that's how

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  2011-01-27 06:34:23

• 2
  boink Miss Piggy! Oh god, you can't even imagine what I'd

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  2011-01-27 06:27:36

• 1
  Mario Kart, because it is a four player game which meant they could tell him he couldn't play without seeming rude. Man they were sick of him

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  2011-01-27 06:23:48

• 1
  they all came over to eat. Causality is funny that way.

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  2011-01-27 06:17:51

• 1
  Bill O'Reilly

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  2011-01-27 06:14:15

• 2
  real bad, because that's what tofu does to your digestive system. Unfortunately, he couldn't find a toilet nearby, but at least he could use

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  2011-01-27 06:11:08

• 2
  safety back from the Mafia. I knew it was a racket, but it's not like I could

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  2011-01-27 06:07:41