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As an officially licensed "Monster Hunter" - It's my job to hunt down creepy things that go bump in the night. Armed with a -
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Don't piss old St. Nick off this year let me tell ya! The North Pole is not immune to a recession! I heard that if you're on the "naughty" list this year that he's going to
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Alien abductions are the worst. It's not just the experimentation, severing, stitching, and anal probing. Sure those things really suck and all. But what's with the elevator music
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Tis a bad start to your day when even your own demons refuse to speak to you. Seriously, what an attitude these lost souls have! Spawn of hell my ass! They're like spoiled emo
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As I inched closer, I came to the slow realization that the bulldozer was headed my way. It wasn't just the thought of a painful death that struck me, it was the fact that FiFi was
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Zombies can be real jerks sometimes... Seriously, there was this one time I was hanging with my bro Timmy. He was half-zombie and all, but I didn't hold that against him. He
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That's when the guy in the seat next to me let out a big, smelly fart! I was horrified, I was mortified I was
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That's the thing with Aardvarks... You never really know when they're going to
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What else can I say? I hit him because he was Harry Potter, Justin Beiber, and Carrot Top all rolled into one! Hitting him was the least I could do! Heck, the other kids would
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The only thing worse than waking up dead in the morning is
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"Better to have loved and to have lost than to have loved whilst pooping." Strange to be sure, but it seems to have served them well all these years...
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to spice things up a bit. Horrifying to be sure if you are human, but "she" as we shall call her was not... She was afterall a
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noodly appendages. Yes, the Flying Spaghetti Monster's plan was working - Lure the masses as devoted worshippers through clubs, raves, and an unexpected return of the fannie pack
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he stayed in bed a full week hiding under the covers after a particularly traumatizing nightmare that involved both the hideous women of "The View", clowns, and zombie mimes. He
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I awoke to find myself surrounded by an army of well armed and thoroughly angry Peeps. Left-overs from last years Easter party, I was fairly certain that
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otherwise gorilla nipples would'nt be involved. Despite himself, he chuckled silently as he imagined what tax payers would think if they knew $983,007 were spent on Gorilla nipples
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Bahumbug! Uttered the Santa suit wearing 3-toed sloth... Or so I thought it was a sloth in my current state. It was actually my mildly drunk and slightly high uncle Andy who
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he never imagined that his $2.99 jolt of enrgy would move herds of hormone crazed, stampeding Water Buffalo! "Mooove!" Screamed the desperate safari as raging
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"Looks like there'll be good eatin' tonight!" cackled the old wrinkly hag. "Ma Ma" as we like to call her must have lost her sense of taste ages ago. No one really knows how
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Though his birth name was Herbert, the neighborhood kids had turned to calling him "Old and Crusty" - A name he likely deserved from his habit of