I awoke to find myself surrounded by an army

I awoke to find myself surrounded by an army of well armed and thoroughly angry Peeps. Left-overs from last years Easter party, I was fairly certain that

they'd had plenty of time to devise a plan for kitchen-wide domination. Their tiny tridents had been fashioned from fondue forks, some ironically flaming with molten marshmallows.

The shorter imps used shellfish fork/extractors as weapons. This calamitous culinary war among diminutive devils was about

to be commenced by an birthmarked Alton Brown who had shamelessly shunted his show to be the spooky spokesperson for an Impish Iron Chef set in an arid arena in

a universe without punctuation or grammar. And that's how Henri Poincare formulated chaos theory. Afterwards, he had a YooHoo Strawberry and a Hydrox cookie.

They were out of Oreos at the grocery, but he didn't mind.

There were plenty of other ways to tempt his little brother into the garage.

For example, candy would probably do the trick. The little idiot would probably follow a trail of Skittles over a cliff. Yes, this was going to be easy.

If only they could REALLY taste the rainbow! They would have had no use for this idiot in the first place! But now, their ordeal nearly over,

they called upon the rainbow and crossed into Asgard. Sunlight glinted off the points of their spears. And, as the last was at the top of the arch, the fat lady turned and sung.