FoldingStory

I remember the day the guns stopped firing.

He was certain of only two things. First, he has owned precisely twenty-four pillows in his lifetime. Second,

sexy offense." The Winchester winched me up into a hanging, immobile position off the ground. I wasn't liking where this was going. I had to remind myself of that. I had other

Do not fill the terrarium with cheese. Rock lobsters do not care for cheese. 4: Paste My Little Pony stickers inside. A happy rock lobster is a HAPPY rock lobster, as I always say!

Of course I had to lie about my age, it is not easy to pretend to be a five-year old when you are pushing 50. I had prepared "The Good Ship Lollipop" and wore my sparkly uniform.

Most pirates had a parrot, he had a cat. It perched on his shoulder with its tail brushing his upper lip giving the impression of a mustache. Especially helpful in combat, it would

a great rumbly-tumbly laugh. "Ho-HO! Ha-HA! Tiddle-dee-TEE! I have you now, my pretty, and your little beagle, too!" The Great Pumpkin became aware of a chirping in his gourd-ear.

to gouge my own eyes out. The spatterings of eye-juice fell on the ScanTron in neat little circles, filling in the rest of the test entirely (albeit improbably) correctly. "What a

...So I used skim milk and it still made pudding, so you see what's the point?" The philosphy professor looked at his class and sighed to himself "Just two years to tenure."

of exquisite corpses, victims of the Robopocolypse. Past the bombed-out facades of office buildings it rolled, leaving sticky drippings in its track. One of the wheels began to