
"You're a poser, Sicily McPhalleyman". He said it to the mirror, straightened his Hermes tie, and grimaced his best impression of a smile. Then he entered the boardroom

Lane woke to his cell phone buzzing by his ear. He yawned and flipped it open. There was a new text from a blocked number. He opened and read it. "Did u 4get something?" It read.

He wouldn't hurt anybody. He couldn't even kill a fly. Which made his job as a Hit Man tricky.

Did you know that chewing two sticks of gum for 30 minutes is as good as brushing your teeth? And that if you put a cup of vinegar in your crisper your veggies last all year? And

Flatuventriloquism requires many years of practice to master, but now I'm able to micmic the voices of famous people like Jimmy Stewart or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Once when

The shadow of the Manatee fell across Amanda Widdershin's tarot spread one evening. "Detective! Would you like some tea?" Det J said, "I'd like your counsel on a case with occult p

I stood over the children—tears in their eyes, chocolate longing in their hearts—and I laughed. I said to them, "I have eaten all the cake!" None could defy my power, so I moved on

The mother cannibal said to the child, "Finish you food. Do you know there are starving children in Africa?" The cannibal child said, "Mmmm, I love Ethiopian food."

"So you thee, I juth god unruc ow ... ow ow kee wif my tsch ow ... ow ow. choice a cac-thee Doc." "Martin, a good fraction of succulent plants are not succulent. They're poison

My party was popping. Throw your