The white elephant gift exchange party at

The white elephant gift exchange party at the office holiday party was an utter disaster. The problem started when Sven didn't understand the colloquialism and showed up with a

albino rhino. It all worked out. The herd of white pigmy elephants that the natives brought adopted the rhino and we kept them all in the copierroom. But when Sven's rhino skewered

the first receipt we knew the orders would come flooding in. Everyone wanted an albino rhino or pigmy elephant. The xerox machine was running hot. After orders were delivered custo

ms would go into a panic. Stress city, processing live animals was a nightmare. Enter: Customs Agent Mel Wipsnade. The coolest cucumber in the fridge. He turned things around by

lifting them up and rotating them 180 degrees. Customs Agent Mel Whipsnade was rearranging the office furniture when a wild bullock escapee from the abattoir burst in, messing up

The arrangement. "You just wrecked the bullock cart I drive!", he said. Mel Whipsnade pointed out it was in the garage. Whew! He used bulloock carts himself, so the bullock relaxed

somewhat, but she was still anxious about how to have all the attention slide off onto somebody else right now. She was getting a vibrating message from her Space lover. His messag

read, in short: "why? why can't i use capital letters?" Her reply was simple:

"BECAUSE YOU ONLY TYPE WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND!" This may sound harsh to some of you, but to those of us who were forced by nuns to take typing in school, it seems only fair.

But then the Catholic Guilt hit me like a sledgehammer on my little toe. He was born with two right hands and only half of a brain. I said 5 Hail Mary's and begged for absolution.