"Old fashioned,but worth the effort." "High

"Old fashioned,but worth the effort." "High maintenance.Southern heritage" "Gothic,has shingles,lice, skeletons in the closet & bats in the belfry." Intrigued by the last listing

Big Bob enquired about the property on the dead-end street. Why? Because he needed a new image, that's why.Big Bob wanted to attract a different type of woman. The Gothic apartment

was cramped and gloomy at first, but Big Bob and the renter came to an arrangement, knocked out some walls, and made a Great and Gloomy Room. Shapely, uncorrupt women were drawn to

this marvellous space but never stayed as they liked the Great but disliked the Gloomy. Big Bob and the renter, to impress the gorgeously chaste women, played them pan pipes made

a new dance craze called the Belch which involved dancing to pan pipes whilst wearing a flower pot on your head. The chaste women gathered to watch the spectacle but Big Bob

was disgusted by this craze. All he wanted was the good old days. Tango, waltz, two-step. Big Bob walked away from the women shaking his head. "I could never love one of them. I

mostly like to do the dougie or the centipede. I'm a dancing freak," Big Bob said. The bartender nodded even though he hadn't heard a single word Big Bob said, then pretended

he was replying to Big Bob but without actually speaking. "What?" said Big Bob. "... for 12 ... sloppy ... crickets. Right?!" said the bartender and then he burst out laughing.

"Oh Jimminey. Grasshoppers for all--on the house!" A cheer went up, the drinks went down, then silence. A single, lonely chirp was heard from behind the jutebox. Big Bob busted

the musical device aside, and the cricket fled for its life. Big Bob's dexterity was kinda lower than a bounding insect. Unfortunately, the numbers munched him. One more delicacy.