The maroon Hot Rod was Cassie's pride and

The maroon Hot Rod was Cassie's pride and joy.Her brother Anthony was helping her with it whe the fine tuning went wrong and the motor started to die on her.Cassie cried for help

-er, with hamburger, the kind her babysitter used to make. It was the only thing that could cheer Cassie up about her broke maroon hot rod. But then the weird Helper Hand

sprang off the box and began making unwelcome advances toward Cassie's private places. The Jolly Green Giant jumped off the bag of frozen peas and yelled "Not on my watch!"

Then out of nowhere, The Waffle Crisp Ladies intervened, one of them giving a swift kick to The Jolly Green Giant's groin. The mascot shattered into a mass of various vegetables.

It was apparent to all onlookers that these old women were the very same ones from commericials of years past. "Immortals..." they all whispered in awed unison.

"I remember you" One onlooker confessed to the old women. "You used to be in that commercial about the lobster iPhone case! Yes yes, how did it go?

"I don't do that commercial anymore," the old woman told the onlooker. "They fired me because I refused to do the pistol-shaped iPhone case commercial. I'm a pacifist, you know."

"Tell me about it!", said the onlooker. I was recently fired from job because I was raising health and safety issues all the time. No one cares about good ideas these days!

It's all about striving for mediocrity. One mustn't strain oneself, otherwise your co-workers will think you're up to something...like buttering up the boss for a raise.

Or letting a friendly trout win a game of butternut squash while diligently holding back the urge to punch its stupid fish face. You think you're better than me, trout? Then POW.