Swallowed my boat, he did. There I was, in

Swallowed my boat, he did. There I was, in the belly of the beast. Not sure what to do, I reflected on how I got here. Speedos, women construction workers and Somali pirates. Still

trapped in here, I realized that the inside of the Krakken was not 'the happiest place on earth', as the brochures brought me to believe. "Where's the croquet field?" I thought,

"the Hippo timeshare was better..." But at least the cephalopod interior was roomy and sported the promised Olympic swimming pool. My new neighbor Jonah had been around and showed

little interest in any of this, however. He just wanted to talk about his latest and greatest invention - the "multiple orifice cleansing device". Initially I was uninterested

but after a few test runs, I don't think I could have lived without it. I ended up using it every day, often multiple times before bed. Though when I tried to use it at the office

my coworkers wanted to use it too. I hesitated but thought "Sure, why not" the more the merrier, right? We all used it merrily until

I exhausted my supply of plutonium. I was about to go Chernobyl on their ass. Then, the tsunami hit...

washing away my trusty sidekick, Sancho, who was riding his bicycle along the river bank. When the bank swelled, heaving like a drunk pregnant woman about to throw up, Sancho

tried his best to control his bicycle but to no avail. even his bmx experience inthe south could not have prepared him for what was about to happen. however being pretty cool guy

he pedaled straight for the blockade. But the weird milk-dud colored alien in the basket made their bikes fly over the cops. But it was post-911, and two F-16's shot them down.