As odd as it was, the primary thought going

As odd as it was, the primary thought going through John's mind was ~these gates are really just white, not really pearly~ as he entered Heaven. An angel approached, carrying two

tins of "heavenly pearl" paint and handed them to John. "we have been waiting for you John" before you enter would you mind just slapping a couple of coats on the old gates they

were rusted by Peter's dog. He walks him every morning and he pissed on the gates. John was pissed, his first day in Heaven and already he has a painting job. But you don't dis

the Gatekeeper who had connections all the way up. That was a surefire way to get the one-way-ticket on the Satan-express. But Peter's dog "fertilized the daisies" once to often

to go to Dog Heaven. Peter smuggled his dog on the heaven train. An angel said, "You're not supposed to be here!", so Peter broke a window and jumped out of the moving train into

Sparta. In the land of the unknown, Zeus comes forth from the sky and begins to zap Peter and his dog until they were burnt charcoal. After that their intangible souls came about

and Hermes brought Peter and dog down to Hades, where they were left to rot in damnation. Peter was supposed to be outside the Pearly Gates, so he filled out a complaint form and

filled it out in triplicate. He brought the form to Gazebo, Dark Lord of Bureaucracy. "Peter I'm afraid you'll stay here, but your dog can go. All dogs go to heaven. Next." Miffed,

he stomped his foot, and huffed, and generally made a scene, albeit quietly, before taking the escalator down to hell as he was instructed. "I'lll show them," he thought, "I'll

show them that hell ain't just other people, it's MEEE!" His last thought seemed to echo as the flames engulfed him and he wondered how the cell service was here...