Friends... family... countrymen. It is a

Friends... family... countrymen. It is a far greater fold that I feld today than have I ever folded before. With these words

I mark an auspicious beginning to our journey to make this country anew. I pass along to you the sacred flame of creation: word becomes fold. Four years ago the founders of Folding

sat on the toilet and invented a flux capacitor but since that had already been invented the founders of Folding purchased some off the counter software and produced a website base

d totally on inane fanciful ridiculousness produced by random worldwide whack jobs with a little extra time on their hands. What the founders of Folding didn't anticipate was that

if they printed out all the folds onto, like, paper, they could sell the book to the millions of foldingstory fans worldwide and retire, you know, yesterday. Awesome business plan!

Except that making a FoldingStory book would be pointless, as all the stories could be found online. Tom no longer thought this was such a great idea, and shrunk back into his seat

because it was a beanbag chair. Everyone else in the boardroom sat on exercise balls. Tom grabbed a donut. "How about a FoldingStory-sponsored soccer team? My son's team sucks but

should get better with practice, and for that we need a better coach," said Tom. "Now who among the FS crowd has had soccer experience?" Eyes scanned the boardroom and settled on

Pele, otherwise known as "Chaz" of FoldingStory fame. "I, er, was trying to keep my real identity a secret," Pele/Chaz said. "Guess the cat's outta the bag now." Soccer was Chaz's

first passion, but day by day, FoldingStory was creeping out onto the field. A manatee makes for a fearsome goal post, and Squawkers on defense soon halted his football career.