My sister woke me up this morning and said

My sister woke me up this morning and said that we were going to the mall so I got and went in my closet to pick out an outfit when I saw

jason with a chainsaw and an axe about to kill me when

his chainsaw ran out of gas. And his axe head fell off and smashed his toe. Jason stopped. His hockey mask hung like a question mark. So I ran

straight into Freddie Kruger's finger blades. This led me to reconsider some of my plans, but somehow I lingered like an unwanted guest, and began to receive different coupons

Man, was I sick of the push marketing from Groupon and Living Social! That's when the idea hit me: I would go live in the mountain forests and eat lichen, but first I needed

a cheap flight and a deal on the lichen to make sure I could afford the new lifestyle. I waited for days, but all I got on Groupon was a cupcake voucher and sailing lessons. Why

the was the incentive I needed to get a grip on my new life! With a cupcake in my hand and the ship's wheel in my clutches, I check the compass and headed

for the fabled Junkfood Island. Legend told it was surrounded by a kelp forest of gummy worms. Free ranging Ho hos and Animal Crackers grazed on fields of

bubble tape and slaked their thirsts at sparkling ponds of Fanta and streams of Yoo-hoo, and in turn were preyed upon by the ravenous apex predator, the mighty

antwerp.