I burst through my cheating ex's window like

I burst through my cheating ex's window like the Kool Aid mascot and smashed the pothead's computer and TV to smithereens with his own baseball bat. Then I set his house on fire.

My cheating ex scrambled to put her clothes on and run out of the burning house but I grabbed her before she could blink. I squeezed her arm as I looked into her eyes and said

"How was it? Probably not half as dirty as what I did to your sister last week." She kicked me in the balls and ran out the front door. The fire was growing rapidly and I couldn't

. Ball pain is like an octopus made of nausea and bruises that spreads its tentacles throughout your abdomen. It's a kind of pain that stretches, curls around things and crams itse

lf in places you thought you never had. Using a "kick in the crotch" as part of our vaudeville routine was the last straw. He could find another guy with a higher pain threshold.

He limped out of the theatre, stuck out his thumb and got a ride out of town. He was dumped by a field. Sitting on his case he thought it couldn't get worse when a scruffy mutt

with a cheerful expression happened by & licked his tears from his face. From that moment on, he & the mutt (he named Hot) were inseparable. He picked up his case and Hot Dog follo

, as long as those two things didn't happen simultaneously. Screaming children opening umbrellas, best not to think of that.. Good ol' Hot the dog suddenly had a hankering for

a toasted tuna sandwich with bacon bits, plated however the chef desired. Hot the dog was pretty laid back about presentational details. He just enjoyed life and hoped we all did.