God this smelly Santa disgusting! The mothball

God this smelly Santa disgusting! The mothball odor from the fake suit, Gin fumes escaping from under the kinky cotton beard and the quick rise off his suit from a huge fart

-hting in his pocket. After mom took my photo, I decided that for the first time in my life I was going to tell the truth, "You're a loser and a fake." Santa's face turned red

and I could tell he wanted to hit me. Instead he just said "Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!" But when I hopped off his lap he subtly edged a boot in my way and I tripped right into

a red bag, the top was cinched shut, I became drowsy & everything went black. I found out where bad boys go. How do you think Santa affords to pass out free toys? Elves? Ho ho ho.

I was dumped out at Santa's Sweat Shop for Wayward Boys. He chomped on a candy cane and pointed to the frozen tundra. "Nothing for miles, don't even think of being naughty."

But naughty I was. Rotten to the core! What Santa didn't know is that being left here at his Sweat Shop for Wayward Boys was what I wanted. Living with other deliquents gave me the

their mom's chest hair 3) Kiss every Victoria's Secret Angel 4) wear the same underwear all week 5) Eat the most delicious footlong on the planet, and last but not least, 6) win th

e 40 million dollar jackpot in the Powerball Lottery 7) Climb Mount Rainier wearing nothing but a pair of vintage dolfin shorts 8) Try to marry one of the Angels in #3 9) Have

the luck to finally catch a Shiny Pokemon. 10) ...I stared at my list. There was that infernal number again. The number that haunted so many like me. The number...of the fold!