So check out this trippy dream I had. I fell

So check out this trippy dream I had. I fell asleep with the TV on & there must've been some infomercial playing cause in the dream I'm rubbing a shake-weight with a ShamWow when a

slap-chop came crashing down on my

cat's over-flowing litter box, scattering litter - and scat - everywhere. Meanwhile, the dog hid under the bed whimpering. Worse yet, the room filled with the peculiar odor of

freon as the cat began to shed and jettison its coolant. If it was going to melt down, it would do it with style. Mr. Snuggleslippers walked in and detected the heat. Normally,

I kill anything with the word "snuggle" in it. Cute makes me sick. I drove a railroad spike through that sugar coated teddy bear that sells those dryer sheets. When I was 11 I

tore apart all my little sister's teddy bears and sewed them back together again inside out. I dropped out of school when I was 16.

I was picked up for backward jaywalking at 16 and 2 months. But i saved the big one for my 17th birthday. There was no way I'd be charged as an adult and I needed this last blast

of hooliganism before I went straight. I grabbed the do not remove under penalty of law tag, and tore it off. Instantly alarms sounded and searchlights hit me from all sides. I

remained calm & slipped a pair of sunnies from my top pocket, pushed them up the bridge of my nose and casually left the premises. I only succeeded in walking straight into a

waiting bus. I paid my fare, found a seat in the back, and rode silently, destination unknown. As the sun set in the distance, I could only reflect on the day's fortunes.