DeLorean. Phone booth. Hot tub... those have

DeLorean. Phone booth. Hot tub... those have all been done before. I was determined to create a time machine to trump all others.

So I created my golden toilet time machine (somewhere between twinkle and tinkle) to out do the time machines of the past (or present (or future)). The accoutrements included

sharkskin toilet pepper, a Mont Blanc seat cover, a California cuisine urinal cake made by Mr. Puck, an Ivory handled toilet brush, and a Kobe beef skewer. No way Biff can ruin

this masterpiece with his jagged vitriol. Biff was the Simon Cowell of the decorating. His words could drain the festive from a gold leaf puff pastry. Her "exquisite toilet" cake

was flush with delightfulness! But the taut licorice whips began to soften until they snapped and sent her flying

through the air which smelled like fresh croissants, which was fortunate as she landed in a sea of chocolate. Little croissant boats floated around, including donut life vests.

The Good Ship Lollipop floated by and she climbed aboard. It was still drizzling gumdrops and the rainbow of skittles was mesmerizing. The penguins licked the chocolate off of her

nose and she looked cautiously towards the future. In the distance rock candy cliffs threatened the journey but retreat was not an option. The crew pulled in the licorice and

Lucy ordered everyone to fasten the lollipop stilts and walk across the quicksand covering the path. The walrus had some difficulty because of his stubby flippers and

nasty disposition. Once on the other side, the path sloped downward. They hadn't seen, nor predicted the boiling cauldron that awaited them.