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I spent a full year, birthday 30, sharing

  • I spent a full year, birthday 30, sharing an apartment with a burly biker dude named James. We both were messengers, taking legal documents from attorneys and filing them in court.

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  • I made the coffee every morning. We both had a few cups and then James put everything away neatly. He was the most organized person I have ever lived with.

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  • I made the coffee every morning. We both had a few cups and then James put everything away neatly. He was the most organized person I have ever lived with.

    2
  • I made the coffee every morning. We both had a few cups and then James put everything away neatly. He was the most organized person I have ever lived with.

    2
  • I made the coffee every morning. We both had a few cups and then James put everything away neatly. He was the most organized person I have ever lived with.

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  • So when I asked James to marry me, he said, "No, I can't. I'm too organized." "But I made the coffee," I protested, "Does that mean nothing to you?" "It's not enough," James said.

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  • Him saying that really burned my biscuits. Not the muffins though. Those I threw at his head. “Here then, have more coffee,” I said standing up & pouring coffee over James’ head.

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  • "Hot!" he screamed, brown streams of freshly ground Peruvian caffeinated goodness tracking lines down his soggy excuse for a face. "Serves you right!" I admonished in my sternest

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  • Mickey Mouse impression. "And you've ruined my costume!", I added, this time using a sad Mickey Mouse voice. He looked at me, still shocked and dripping with coffee.

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  • “The ruined costume is just payback for calling my wife crazy!” I was taken aback but then realized his confusion. “I didn’t say she was CRAZY, I said your wife was FUCKING GOOFY!"

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9 Comments

  1. LordVacuity May 01 2020 @ 17:58

    yes, the Goofy situation. Was it bestiality? What exactly was Goofy's dealio?

  2. TarotGuy May 01 2020 @ 17:58

    Four iterations of the same fold, one right after the other! Four iterations of the same fold, one right after the other! Four iterations of the same fold, one right after the other! Four iterations of the same fold, one right after the other! How the hell did that happen? How the hell did that happen? How the hell did that happen? How the hell did that happen?

  3. LordVacuity May 01 2020 @ 18:11

    I typed that with one eye on the floor and the other eye holding a hammer. I don't know where the lazy eye was at.

  4. LordVacuity May 01 2020 @ 18:15

    Maybe the coffemaker was in a Groundhog Day situation and Jim was not. That might explain their divergent views as to where their relationship was headed.

  5. Jimbeau May 01 2020 @ 21:44

    Are you telling me a big goofy looking dog in a turtleneck and vest, with pants, shoes, white gloves, and a tall rumpled fedora, is doing the slap and tickle with a diminutive mouse who is howling, “Aren’t you sweet? Slap me hard, big boy!”

  6. SlimWhitman May 03 2020 @ 08:39

    Disney is so kinky these days. Disney is so kinky these days. Disney is so kinky these days. Disney is so kinky these days.

  7. LordVacuity May 03 2020 @ 11:19

    "Look at my bright buttons! Push my buttons Goofy! Push em! Lets get Pluto in on this."

  8. LordVacuity May 03 2020 @ 11:21

    Just then the doorbell rang. It was Richard Gere and his buddies, Chip & Dale. "Indubitably," Dale said.

  9. LordVacuity May 03 2020 @ 11:25

    I'll just leave this here. Is it a continuation? Who knows? https://foldingstory.com/xxedw/

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