I collect stamps only depicting tropical

I collect stamps only depicting tropical birds with profiles turned to the left. They have to be first-day proofs untouched by human hands. ...and you?

I collect postcards of bridges, single view and women's toenail cuttings. Mr Needlepoop had just his local collectors club. He was so excited he forgot himself and didn't expect

reality to reveal his pathetic existence in such stark relief so quickly. So, I guess this is the place that I should explain how he got the name, "Mr. Needlepoop."

He performed acupuncture on his gums to varying degrees of success. As tough on hemorrhoids as they were on his toilet, Mr. Needlepoop eponymous droppings brought him fame in the

Proctologist's Quarterly where his turds were awarded 3rd prize in the Poop of the Year competition. Mr Needlepoop was too ill to accept the ward in person so he sent Ms Lilycrap,

who brought her dog Dooky. Ms Lilycrap was distracted by a historical display of coprolites when Dooky ate Mr Needlepoops prize winning defecation which bore a striking resemblance

to The King of Coprolites. It was 17 inches long & 6 inches thick and if you closed your eyes and leaned in close, you could still smell the T Rex prey's fear. Dooky's breath

often smelled of garlic, mint chutney and veggie vindaloo, which made Dooky T-Tops even more appetizing to Trevor Rex, despite their budding friendship. One

nibble of Dooky T-Top's spicy elbow & Trevor Rex couldn't resist. He crunched down. "Hey! Ow! What's the big idea?!" Dooky cried, shoving Trevor's jaws away. "I'm your friend, you

shouldn't bite me!" Trevor was too hungry to listen. The next bite was a big one, and Dooky was gone in two shakes of his own tail. Trevor chewed a long while, then swallowed.