They might have "The Running of the Bulls"

They might have "The Running of the Bulls" in Pamploma Spain, but in Hammond, Wisconsin they have the "Running if the Llamas,"

I hear you thinking, "What sissies!", but they run nude, and llamas spit. Besides that they kick & neck wrestle. The "Running of the Llamas" really put Hammond, WI on the map when

"Worlds Largest Cheddar Wedge" failed to draw the crowds of tourists that Hammond so desperately needed to survive and make it into round 2 of Battle of the Midwestern Towns, the

contest that had pitted neighbour against neighbour, cousin again cousin, as the most obscure attractions vied for public support. It was hard to beat the winner of 1863 because

everybody loves a corn maze. But Betty Lou's giant ball of used panty hose and Mr. Dickens' topsy turvy pineapple right-side-up cake were hot contenders. The judges this year were

a mix of fat Star Trek fanboys and Flying Spaghetti Monster worshippers. So it would be difficult to impress them with mere pantyhose and baked goods. The corn maze needed more

derogatory remarks and malicious stereotypes, so who stronger to enforce negative tropes than by infusing them with some Forrest Gump-style southerners? Within a day, hooting and

Hooters were finally united in an unholy alliance of raunch and nature. Hot Wings and Hollering were summoned from the Southern part of Hell and now they were here, ready

to admit objectifying women is a trait of a masculine culture. Masculine culture are also have more prevalent religious culture. The number of women in management roles is

stabilizing now, though, especially in churches. Why only last month, Sister Mary Elizabeth got promoted to CEO of the Vatican. Pope Benedict was immensely relieved. Finally...pax.