From where he stood the sun glinted off the

From where he stood the sun glinted off the polished cazoleta and a thought fleeted past him of something he would not think again until many years later as

he saw the sun for the first time since that thought occurred to him, for he had become known as Hardass McTestosterone, and he had been wrestling polar bears in Arctic caves since

the days of his youth. He often looks back fondly at those times, climbing trees with his bare feet and making lemonade with urine and squirrel blood. Those were simpler times.

Those times were over. Now, he had a battle to face. More importantly, he had a choice. He stood in front of his army of squirrels. He could send them to their death or

help them reach victory. But was it really up to him? After all he had been through, he couldn't imagine that he was in control of anything anymore, not even his squirrel army.

All I know is that he did it for one thing, and one thing only: the nuts. On his deathbed, his last words were in fact, "I did it all for the nuts."

And i told him "You gotta love my nut, brother. This is what Vince told me with his infomercial. R.I.P" I walk away, and determined to revenge on the killer who stole his nut.

That path wasn't an easy path to take. I shook my head and gave one last look to the

Shire."Goodbye!" yelled Frodo, and walked precisely three steps before a dragon sat on him. I looked at the dragon, appaled. "Look what you've done now! Damn! Now I have to do it!"

The dragon stood up and shuffled aside. Frodo eagerly trotted over squatted above his face. "I will now demonstrate the true power of the One Ring", mused Frodo.