Say baby! Howya doin??

Say baby! Howya doin??

Well hello there sweet pea! Life's a beach, wanna join me for a Mai Tai?

Heya, care for something sweet and a lil fruity - like me?

I put down the stick of gum. "Eat me! No ME!" pleaded the rows of Cheetos and Funyuns. I grabbed a Diet Coke. "Excellent choice man, I'm the drink of a generation."

I sighed at that, "Yeah, but you're no Crystal Pepsi". I choked back a tear and guzzled down the diet coke right there in the store. Why were all the groceries able to talk all of

the sudden? I felt dizzy. I could hear the groceries laughing at me as I staggered down Aisle 8. I bumped into a tampon display, knocking them loose from their boxes.

I was buried in an avalanche of tampons, just as a beefy CVS clerk rounded the corner. She was not amused. "It's not what it looks like! They attacked me! The groceries are evil!"

yelled the beefy CVS clerk. I was in luck. She hadn't noticed that I had knocked over the tampon display. I grabbed some Gold Bond anti-powder and nonchalantly

undressed and powdered myself from head to toe. I transformed into an unstoppable force with the strength of 100 men, every sense heightened and my teeth were now sparkling. Now I

was ready to face the forces of evil head-on and save the Earth! Although, I never did find out what was up with the mysterious voices I'd been hearing.