Gigantic purple orbs crossed my vision, glistening

Gigantic purple orbs crossed my vision, glistening opalescent fizzywigs buzzing morosely until the scent of refried beans recentered my attention on the very orange plate of tacos.

Hunger conquered curiosity and I ate. Still, the fizzywigs played at my peripheries. Moth-like, but bigger, pupler, rounder. Something out of Roald Dahl's imagination. I reached

out for human contact but found nothing but cold despair. The dungeon was evil. The prince was cruel. And I had forgotten my name.

The brand below my shackle read 'XB-130', so that would be my new name. A lion roared beyond the dungeon walls. A door opened. "You there, take this spear. The crowd wants blood.

" I had visions of a wheat field, sparkly sun & a very nice wife. Yes, I was a reluctant gladiator but that didn't mean I wasn't kickass. "My name," I husked, "is XB-130. SON of a

the original garden mulcher, I am the composter imposter! So Mr. Weedwacker watchout!" I squared off on a 10 acre field against The Weedwacker. Farmer Joe rang the Bell for round 1

And two squared off in a patch of withered tomatoes and sickly corn. One, two, three, GO! And off they went. It was eventually to be used for a commercial on the hellos. Grandpa's

ballpeen hammer won the bloody day. He came home with more teeth than he had left with. He took them in to show the baby. The baby took the bottle & gurgled at the rattle it made.

The baby then broke the bottle and stuffed all the teeth (and some of the broken glass) into it's gums but was still unable to chew the T-bone steak that had been set before him.

A man walked in, stared at the precarious scene and immediately knew what he must do. He took the steak and threw it into the blender so the baby would finally be able to eat it.