"The future of advertising is within!" announced

"The future of advertising is within!" announced Senator Wayward Conquest as he strutted during his TED talk. "We can make everyone sleek, healthy, long-lived consumers with our ge

felta fish." Then Senator Wayward Conquest's TED talk went super wonky. He yelled, "delirium, delirium" into the mic and undid his belt.

The crowd went wild, but not in a good way. They began pelting the Senator with rotten fruit (available at the door for only a small fee), sending him scurrying offstage where

he suddenly had a vision of everyone drowning. But then his vision was interrupted by his assistant checking to see if he was okay. The poor old Senator said he was fine but

that he was going to take a break from the campaign trail for a while, perhaps forever. His assistant, puzzled, distressed and just the right amount of crazy, slapped the senator

And pulled a dead rabbit out of his hat. "This is your future, Senator!" He shrieked, disembowelling the rabbit and putting its intestines on a nearby door. He donned a IRS oufit

went to work like every other day. Except that not every day did he eviscerate a live rabbit in front of a Senator and tell that was his future. He had blood on his soles. The IRS

(International Rabbit Society) took him to trial and sent him to prison for nine years for unnecessary violence towards a lapine being. That ended his work in the Senate. From

his prison cell, he wrote the first-person 90,000-page almanac, Harvey, and Me. Each page unwrapping the evolving bond between a 6-foot-4-inch white rabbit and the former Senator.

Little did they know, the book was really a ruse to fill my cell with paper to start a fire. Only 10,000 more pages until the guards have to deliver supplies again. Almost time...