Evaporated cane syrup. Really? You think

Evaporated cane syrup. Really? You think we are dumb enough at this co-op to not know that this is sugar? Gluten-free? Milk-free? Fat-free? Is there anything left in this food?

Nope. And this is was the kooky co-op health food store owner said. He pointed at the garbanzo beans and garishly grimaced, then in a low sort of growl, "

Garbanzo beans form the base of BlastedHeath's work lunch, with hot pot or other sauce, tofu and frozen vegetables, and you seriously expect me to stock those?" The co-op owner gl

ossed over the part where he admitted to being avuncular. "I'm starting to believe the rumors that you are an enemy of BlastedHeath. I hate to think that because we got a special

kinda torture for you smelly animals. After we sort you by color and shape,

size and smell, we stock the shelves with you so that you will be handy when we're in a bad mood and want to smell something that smells worse than we do. Afterwards we pay you

in whatever the hell you want; whether it's money, candy or beer. The bottom line is that we get the work done and we get it done right. It's not too often we get smart workers.

These days a college degree is worthless. Life is crazy, beer is good. That country song nails it.

But imagine a country without good nurses. A country where nobody knows about stuff like the Holocaust. Education is a matter of life and death. And no country song is going to

stir in me the passion I feel for a robust Communist economy!" I said, surveying what I knew would be the last hundredth-second of my existence. I saw mouths gasp, then nothing.