49erFaithful's photo

"No no I don't think YOU understand" the ad guy said. "I don't want juicy" (he made air quotes). "I want a frikkin flash flood in my mouth! I don't want flavorful. I want a grenade

Finished: 6/19/20 @ 17:16
marxxyax's photo

i want to eat pancakes! But

Finished: 6/19/20 @ 17:06
SlimWhitman's photo

"Myron take a look at this huge spherical blue object in front of the Sun from NASA's satellite feed of STEREO1. I told you UFOs are real!" "Um. Isn't that the Earth?" "No way!

Finished: 6/19/20 @ 16:51
mluka01's photo

If I had won the Power ball, I would not be sitting in class right now. Instead, I would...

Finished: 6/19/20 @ 14:31
BerryFine's photo

My great aunt Lillian is a famous author, but I am infamous, as in "not" famous, or so I thought the meaning of the word. I wrote that once in a biographical sketch for undergrad

Finished: 6/18/20 @ 20:52
LordVacuity's photo

I sent my eyes into the hills to search the dark places; to see the dark places. My eyes returned with good report.

Finished: 6/18/20 @ 20:47
Mylar_Ballon's photo

Two days ago, Catatafish, of the Salmon School, was summoned by Lemmiwinks, hero of Mr. Slave's digestive sistem to help him kill his evil cousin, Sokratis.

Finished: 6/18/20 @ 20:45
Corcor904's photo

Ashamed, I sped Veronica to the ER in my convertible. A banana was lodged in her throat. I warned her about practicing fellatio on fruit while laying down, but she didn't listen.

Finished: 6/18/20 @ 11:56
LordVacuity's photo

If only there was a song for every room, every room a song, then there would be room for every song. A song for every rock, a rockstar for every song. Who thinks he’s a rockstar?

Finished: 6/18/20 @ 11:53
MoralEnd's photo

Mozart faked his death so that he could do something else.

Finished: 6/16/20 @ 11:41