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He sat there beaming at me, glowing in the

  • He sat there beaming at me, glowing in the dark with sweat and wide pupils. "How can you know unless you try?" I smirked, wondering how many times that line had worked.
  • Then I smirked again. I smirked at funerals, I smirked when getting fired, I smirked when brushing my teeth. I had the Tarantula smirking disease. I am not a smart ass but
  • this horrible facial tic was my curse. Do you know how hard it is to seem sincere when you are constantly giving involuntary smirks? I was pegged as an asshole.
  • Strangely, it made life easier for me as no one wants to have to "deal with" an ass. I went throughout most of my 20s with that label, a smirk on my face - sometimes voluntarily.
  • Sometimes involuntarily. There were occasions when my face froze with that smug smirk on my face, shortly after I inhaled the ass (donkey/burro) version of botox.
  • These treatments were strictly forbidden in the "American Triad" (Canada, USA, & Mexico). Headed straight to Poland home the world's leading researchers on Donkey/Burro Ass botox.
  • Along with him went a Doctor who specialised in denaturing unwanted "celebs". When asked whether it was a proper profession he meerly said " Of course it is, waste not want not eh"
  • Then he strapped KFed into the brain replicator and copied his thoughts and memories. When the process was complete, he threw the unconscious roob into a trash compactor. Crunch!
  • Examining the thoughts, he wondered what Brittany had seen in him. KFed had barely given her any space in his mind. But what's this? KFed was a werewolf? So many question answered!
  • That night, in his prayers, he asked for special blessings on KFed and everyone at the E! network. He would never know how well his prayers were answered.

1 Comments

  1. kyerinn Feb 23 2011 @ 12:23

    I found this one particularly amusing. :)

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