32

"How much will my clean bill of health set

  • "How much will my clean bill of health set me back, doc?" I asked. "Hm, $40, plus the cost of hollow pills." It was cheaper to be sick, so I forced a cough. The GP sedated me with
  • saline & I went into fake convulsions. It was cheaper to be sick & I needed a few days off anyway. I crossed my eyes & tried to appear as if I was choking. I peed my pants so that
  • made a squish noise each time I walked. Unfortunately I was sitting on an electric heating pad. It shorted out and shocked my balls. That was when my extraordinary journey began.
  • I yelped, jumped up, and ran aimlessly for what seemed like a few seconds, but by the time I stopped, I'd somehow ended up in a rainforest in South America.
  • I was taken in by the Yanomamo and given a prized hammock in the long hut and a companion named Tsuzi Tlotes to help me assimilated. I assimilated like a prized bull wrapped in
  • bubble wrap. But I ended up becoming too assimilated. Within a week Tsuzi Tlotes's and I had conceived a baby. The Yanomamo tribe had a tradition to kill the mother of every single
  • invention on this so-called island paradise. "No inventions, no technology, no ruination of our culture" was the motto of the Yanomamo tribe. Tsuzi Tlotes and I would be parents
  • as well as cousins, because trying to calculate repopulation from just 20 or so people really sucks. Pardon the pun, but multiplication wasn't my cup of tea. Hence our island home.
  • There are only two of us and we use birth control. Oh I've just discovered a pregnant vole. The population of this island is currently three. I mean, its
  • possible for us to populate this island if we end the birth control. But I don’t know if I should mate with someone I’m not thrilled about. You see, I’m more attracted to the vole.

2 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Jan 27 2020 @ 16:38

    Do you want to have vole fever? Because that is how you get vole fever.

  2. SlimWhitman Jan 29 2020 @ 14:24

    Vole fever makes you flush, your whiskers twitch. and the estrus is a feeling wafting through the air, you leap across the fields, oblivious to the furtive weasel, looking for a mate!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!