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My kitty, Ted, is the biggest badass cat

  • My kitty, Ted, is the biggest badass cat in the world. He weighs 21 pounds and wakes me up each morning by sitting on my face each morning until I can't breathe.
  • I thought about having Ted stuff but his fur was so beautiful I considered having it made into a stole. Instead I settled on a rug that I placed in front of my fireplace to give a
  • lived in look. When Audrey ignored me, looking into Ted's dead glass eyes, stroked his chest & purred "Can I take him home?" I decided a little taxidermy could fix the situation
  • . Audrey was beautiful stuffed. I put her and Ted in a glass domed case and displayed them together in my bay window next to the aspidistra. My next project was stuffing the neighb
  • orhood. The place where I grew up had always held a sacred space in my heart. I would murder, stuff and preserve my entire neighborhood so that I could live there forever.
  • I think that a certain point it was clear to everybody it was I that was disappearing all my neighbors but by then they were all afraid they were next so just looked the other way.
  • This went on for four years, then I vanished without trace and nobody ever found out! I was reincarnated as a chinchilla. My uncle was in the chinchilla family I joined.i last saw
  • my old life through the lens of a dropped iphone 7 plus. It was clear and sad & I took a photo of my pre-chinchilla world with my fuzzy nose. "This is the only way I can
  • remember those days, now that I have a chinchilla brain," I thought, as I quickly lost track of what I was thinking. Pretty soon I had forgotten and was absentmindedly chewing the
  • bottom of the cardboard box I was being kept in and next thing I knew I was free! I looked around for others to talk to but because I was no longer human I forgot how to talk. -fin

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