In a world...

In a world...

where the future is jet-packs and robots and domed cities with six lane highways and food that comes in a pill... HE was the man who would save it... HE was the chosen one... HE

was Ronald McDonald 3016. Part clown, part burger, part machine. His protocol sensors had the latest NSA sweeping arcs. His red lips held a comm device. The Burger King

Annihilation Committee had tried to commission the Ronald McDonald 3016 cyborg to systematically exterminate the fast food franchise, but the Wendy Obliteration League's offer was

Designed to provide healthy competition. Pun intended. The menu now included goat's head soup. Given the beef shortage, goats were conscribed to fight in their stead. Cyborgs

hadn't been used since the incidents of '83, so the only option was genetically optimized farm animals. And no one wanted to be wasteful, so casualties often became meals. It was

Porcupine roadkill gumbo one day & moose mush meatloaf on another. At least roadkill had a unique taste, unlike the genetically optimized farm animals. They all tasted like chicken

that had been basted in bath water. I miss tomatoes, peas, celery, and carrots. I never thought I would have to slit a peapod's throat. These government mutations messed up my

vegetarian sensibilities. But being under contract meant that if they needed a beet or a cabbage to wear a cement over coat, then that's what I had to accomplish, even if it hurt

Aunt Valetta' s feelings. She was pretty sensitive about her vegetables. So I surrendered the beet and cabbage, we did the deed, and it was over, as in O-V-E-R. You read me?