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Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Smith

  • Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Smith hated his name, so he changed it to Jimmer-dimmer Habby-Babby Cheddareater Jones.
  • Mr. Jones's lawyer, who filed the name change, was named John Jacob JingleHeimer-Smith. Mr. Smith could relate, as every time he introduced himself, they'd say "Thats my name too!"
  • This hadn't been a problem for Jones's lawyer until he went into Wills and Trusts practice. Whenever he went the people would always shout there goes John Jacob JingleHeimer-Smith,
  • and he found this terribly odd because in actual fact it didn't jingle, but rather it chuckled. This had a tendency to get in the way of some of his more intimate relationships.
  • He could cover up the chuckle by laughing when it started, but then his heart started to whisper dirges &baudy limericks during tender intimate moments. He went to a cardiologist
  • who implanted a device that could put his heart on mute.It had several side effects.Whenever he muted his heart, he became a douche bag cross between Doug Anthony Hutchinson and
  • Bozo,the clown.Though his Doug Anthony Hutchinson half was not the dominant one he tried hard to tame the Bozo half so that he would never,ever again
  • be pulled to one side by airport security and asked to empty all of his pockets. A never ending string of knotted coloured hankerchiefs did not amuse the guards. Bozo the clown str
  • uck the airport security guard over the head with a bedazzled porcupine & made a run for it, his red fuzzy hair bouncing, drug paraphernalia falling from his pockets. Bozo' s shoes
  • slapped on the marble floor. In slo-mo the wig flew to the left, the red nose to the right. Bozo's life flashed before his eyes and the sun dazzled him as he fell, tears falling.

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